Pilgrimage: Reclaiming Life Landmarks

I recently experience a strong current of inspiration to return to a site from my childhood to reclaim space and rewrite an internal narrative. 

When I had just turned five years old, I started school for the first time. I was given little to no information about what to expect in this transition as I crossed one giant divide-- I did not speak the dominant language. My mother brought me to the school and instructed me to go follow the kids inside to meet my teacher. I had not had any prior experience of any time away from my very sheltered family and culture. I was so confused that all I could do was cry, refuse, and cling to my mother's leg. She then came up with a white lie, "I will wait by the tree today, while you are in class." I bought it. With the company of my cousin, who was in the same position, we braved this new world together. But when we ran straight to the tree, neither of our mothers were to be found. We busted into tears. To add insult to injury when the mothers walked up to claim us, they laughed at our heartbreak and fear of abandonment. No wonder when I read the "The Drama of the Gifted Child" as an adult the aches of narcissistic wounding felt so raw.

I set about to return to this place after watching a documentary about the Life of Siddhartha who became the Buddha as he sat under the Bodhi tree, touched the earth, and claimed his enlightenment. When I returned, I touched the tree that stood outside my class. It was this moment of touching nature that I realized, the Great Mother, earth, nature, Gaia, had never abandoned me, never laughed and dismissed my fear. SHE always was there, holding me, at every step.